What is life coaching?

Heather — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:27:22 +0000

So what is a life coach? Now, I would like to tell you what a life coach is, but it is a difficult thing to describe. It is less of a job description and more of an experience you go through. Coaching is a process by which you get to have a new, hopefully improved, experience of yourself and what you are capable of. Coaching provides accountability to yourself; it’s like outsourcing someone to hold your best interests as sacred and reflect your importance as a human being back to you. In our culture, many of us have learned to behave as though everyone else matters more than ourselves. But I would argue that this doesn’t balance out well as no one knows your needs, visions, and callings as well as you do. And a life coach can reflect you back to yourself, minus any emotional reactivity or expectations from loved ones, employees, or bosses. This detached but alert presence can really help you get more clarity on your challenges.

Unlike therapy, life coaching is not focused on reprocessing past experiences or discovering why you have the challenges you do. Life coaching looks at the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle would say, “The Now”. And where you want to go. Coaching is about achieving tangible/measurable results. We’re less likely to focus on the why but more on the what, when, and how?

Life coaching is about helping *you* to take greater responsibility for the results you get in your life. One of my mentors was fond of pointing out, “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” It’s not so much about figuring out the right thing to do, it’s about changing habits, experimenting with your choices, and seeing what gets the best results. It is a powerful thing recognizing that you have an expanded amount of choices in your life. We do and say so many things on autopilot. But by getting a little more conscious and embracing your free will, you can make amazing positive changes.

It all starts by being open to possibilities. By being open to the possibility that how things have been can be otherwise. Being open to the possibility that you have what it takes to change your world.

Quick Therapy for Procrastinators

Heather — Sun, 17 May 2009 17:44:34 +0000

Procrastinators, you may not need therapy. You may not need to understand why you procrastinate. In fact, I would hazard to say that trying to figure out why you procrastinate may be just another form of procrastination. (Of course, there are also some fairly serious issues that can cause procrastination that do require treatment from a licensed mental health practitioner.)

Now if you are attached to understanding why you procrastinate before you will even be willing to move forward, then pick a reason and move on. Yes. Pick a reason! Make one up! We make up all our interpretations anyway, so make it good. Here is an example: I procrastinate because my mind is actually busy working on figuring out the best way to do something. I am not actually procrastinating at all. I am simply “off-line”. There! That was easy.

If you prefer a gloomier outlook you could decide that the reason you procrastinate is because you have a deep-rooted fear of failure that stems from the harsh judgments of your parents. OK. That is a fine reason if it works for you. It may or may not be true, but I am not interested in that. I am interested in how you choose to live now.

OK. That was the therapy part. You have just completed your therapy. Now that you understand why you procrastinate, you are free to choose to do otherwise. Now that you have decided on a reason for your procrastination are you now willing to do something about it? I’ll wait here a second…

But, wait! There is some pie left in the fridge. Yummers! We’ll have to tackle this procrastination later….

More to come…

Heather Flanagan, PCC » therapy

What is life coaching?

Quick Therapy for Procrastinators