Heather Flanagan, PCC » happiness

New Evening Procrastinator’s Power-UP! Group Forming

Heather — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:05:32 +0000

I am happy to announce that this February 16th I will be starting an evening Procrastinator’s Power-UP! Group. This group is in person in Port Townsend, WA.

Procrastinator’s Power-UP!

• Feel energized and supported
• Learn the 5 secrets to freedom
• Turn breakdowns into momentum

Experience the value of Professional Group Coaching!
Tuesdays 5:30-6:30 • Ongoing group, limit 8
$59.00 per month • Contact Heather for more details and to register

heather(at)heatherflanagan.com

360-379-0322

Also, see this posting at PTguide – City Guide to Port Townsend, Washington

What is life coaching?

Heather — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:27:22 +0000

So what is a life coach? Now, I would like to tell you what a life coach is, but it is a difficult thing to describe. It is less of a job description and more of an experience you go through. Coaching is a process by which you get to have a new, hopefully improved, experience of yourself and what you are capable of. Coaching provides accountability to yourself; it’s like outsourcing someone to hold your best interests as sacred and reflect your importance as a human being back to you. In our culture, many of us have learned to behave as though everyone else matters more than ourselves. But I would argue that this doesn’t balance out well as no one knows your needs, visions, and callings as well as you do. And a life coach can reflect you back to yourself, minus any emotional reactivity or expectations from loved ones, employees, or bosses. This detached but alert presence can really help you get more clarity on your challenges.

Unlike therapy, life coaching is not focused on reprocessing past experiences or discovering why you have the challenges you do. Life coaching looks at the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle would say, “The Now”. And where you want to go. Coaching is about achieving tangible/measurable results. We’re less likely to focus on the why but more on the what, when, and how?

Life coaching is about helping *you* to take greater responsibility for the results you get in your life. One of my mentors was fond of pointing out, “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” It’s not so much about figuring out the right thing to do, it’s about changing habits, experimenting with your choices, and seeing what gets the best results. It is a powerful thing recognizing that you have an expanded amount of choices in your life. We do and say so many things on autopilot. But by getting a little more conscious and embracing your free will, you can make amazing positive changes.

It all starts by being open to possibilities. By being open to the possibility that how things have been can be otherwise. Being open to the possibility that you have what it takes to change your world.

Why get stuff done?

Heather — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:25:17 +0000

I am a procrastinator. I appear to have been born this way as, not only did I come out 3 weeks late, but I came out kicking and screaming, feet first, evidently wanting to save the hardest part, birthing of the head, for last. On grade school report cards I always got 3’s for effort on a scale of 1 to 3. In high school, the teachers would always select “Fails to work up to potential” and/or “Failed to complete some assignments”.

I have spent much time and energy trying to figure out how to work with myself instead of against myself to achieve my goals and intentions. Getting stuff done is not just about completing projects and paying your bills and making sure to take a shower before people start to talk behind your back. In my mind, getting stuff done means expressing your valuableness into the world and being of service to people in a way that is meaningful to you. When we play a smaller game in order to stay comfortable or avoid fear, it not only impacts our experience of ourselves as trustworthy authorities in our own lives but it really amounts to withholding our gifts from others upon whom we could be making a positive impact.

What positive impact would you like to make more of in your life?

What one thing can you do right now to move forward? Write it down! And do it. And please do tell me about it in the comment section below.

Always timely with anxiety

Heather — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:05:08 +0000

You’ll never catch a procrastinator saying, “I really need to get around to feeling anxious.” No! Why? Because we are almost always there. Either that or we are trying to avoid being there which is putting us there anyway.

One of the greatest sources of anxiety for us procrastinators comes from beating ourselves up about all the stuff we feel we are procrastinating on. The problem is that we can only do one thing at a time. Consequently, when we are paying the bills, for instance, we are *not* making our phone calls, doing the shopping, working on our writing projects, finding a plumber, scheduling an appointment with our daughter’s teacher, taking steps on our true and deepest dreams, etc. And we have a tendency to beat ourselves up about slacking on all these things even as we are actually working on something productive.

Anxiety can become overwhelming and debilitating. Here is the way out. Let’s try putting our emPHAsis on what we *are* doing! I *am* writing in my blog. Sure, it should be pretty easy for me to feel good about doing this. But do you know, even as I write, I am thinking about the business cards in my purse from the Chamber of Commerce mixer last night that I have done anything about? But it does no good to beat myself up that I am not doing that right now. Even if all I can say is, “I am resting,” it still does no good for me to feel bad. The only sane choice is to either go do that other thing or feel OK about the thing I am doing.

If I treat myself like a disciplinarian, I will resist my own discipline. Call it internalized oppositional defiance.

Now, I could say, “I am resting and I choose to feel good about it”. Or, “I am writing in my blog which is one of my most important goals.” Or even, “I am feeling anxious about all the things I am not doing and I am doing anxiety with the greatest skill.” Why not? We are always doing something. And there will always be a bunch of other really important things we are not doing.

Whatever you are doing right now consider it an accomplishment. Oh, you just read my blog post! Well, that *is* an accomplishment!

Why is happiness so unappealing?

Heather — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:07:03 +0000

What? Huh? Happiness unappealing? What can I possibly mean? Everyone wants to be happy, right?

I am not so sure. And I will tell you why.Today I was having a feeling I did not recognize. It felt very expanded, hopeful, and alive. It about made me hurl! That is to say, it was very foreign and uncomfortable to me. I did not know what to do with myself or how to think about it. My head felt like it was exploding out the top like a cheep 4th of July firework. I would have preferred the more comfortable perky malaise to which I had become accustomed. Or that oh so tasty fear that I have learned to use to my advantage. But this… this… bliss was unpalatable.

Some time has past since this feeling of yucky bliss earlier today. I tried not to fight it but allow it to be, just like I try to allow my critical self to be a part of the whole me. It will take some getting used to before I can handle being light more of the time. I think part of my discomfort is that I am afraid I will get lost in it. If I am blissful, how then will I motivate myself? Bliss seems to run counter to my image of self-discipline and self-control.

On the other hand, this bliss seems to have come with an overwhelming amount of support from Life, the Universe, and Everything. The truth is, I am still being productive. In fact, it is taking less effort dragging myself up by my boot straps. I have a feeling of flow and momentum and a feeling of cooperation from the world. All this while feeling nauseated! How confusing! I will keep you posted on my progress…