An agreement is a structure for fulfillment. It is not unlike a blueprint for a house. An agreement defines what we want to create in the world. According to the German poet, Goethe: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”  When one definitely commits we can read as “when one defines the commitment”. The clearer the agreement (the less vague), the more power it has to show up. But you have to show up first! Avoid these common agreement pitfalls:

• Clumsy or vague commitments, e.g. “I should exercise more.” With such a vague agreement as this I can feel discouraged that I am not keeping it literally every minute of the day not spent exercising. But, I have not made a clear agreement! A clearly made agreement has a time, a date, and an observable, specific action (or removal of action as in not eating the cake!). In my vague agreement there is no time or date and I don’t even know what exercise looks like. Now if I say I am going to ride my bike at least five miles starting at 9 AM tomorrow, I have made a clear agreement and it has a better chance of happening. Also, I am not going to spend the rest of today beating myself up for not exercising because I have a clear plan of when it is going to happen next.

• Saying “yes” to everything. When we over commit, we can end up feeling like a big procrastinator as we do everything frantically at the last minute in crisis mode. Also, sometimes by saying “yes” to everything, we can have two agreements push against each other and have to break or change agreements a lot. Life feels saner if we make agreements based on realistic expectations of what we can do. Making clear agreements is not about setting up unreasonable expectations for yourself. It is more about being in integrity with your reality and building/maintaining self trust and inspiring trust in others. When we feel we’ve broken an agreement, we break self trust. We can carry this bag of “failed agreements” around with us and feel like we just add to it every day. Forgive yourself! Probably most of these agreements haven’t even counted as real agreements!

 There are three things you can do with an agreement, keep it, change it (where the other person really has the option to say, “No, I want to keep with our original plan.”, or break it. If you break an agreement there is no need for upset or shame for there is a way to clean it up and call it good.

Cleaning up broken agreements. This is how you can get to a clean slate and keep it clean instead of digging an ever deeper pit of broken self-trust.

   1. Acknowledge the facts. e.g. “I said I was going to meet you for lunch and I flaked.”

   2. Sincerely apologize, e.g. “I am really sorry I spaced it.”

   3. Make amends, e.g. “Let’s reschedule and let me buy to make it up.”

   4. Recommit to the relationship, e.g. “Your friendship is important and I really do intend on respecting your time. I am committed to doing better in the future.”

Please follow the same protocol for agreements you break with your self! Including making amends. A broken agreement does not have to be an occasion for self-abuse. It can be treated as information. Why did the agreement fail? Perhaps it was too vague? Perhaps it was too much? Or perhaps we simply had a bad day? Use the information to craft better and better agreements.

 My “Momentum Masters” business coaching groups are designed to maximize self-accountability and, thereby, increase your power to manifest fabulous results with your business and life.

Momentum is an experience of life when everything flows and is aligned with our core values. Results manifest easily and rapidly. Conflict and effort no longer trouble us. Momentum occurs when you know what you want, plan out a course of action, and keep your agreements about that plan. Momentum is repeated when you let go of having to be right and in control.

What do you want? It is difficult to know what you really want when your focus is mainly on trying to prevent what you don’t want to happen while making sure you look good. Often, the sense of clarity around what we want emerges after we choose to commit to a goal. Commitment precedes clarity, not the other way around. When you really commit you’ll have an experience of freedom to move forward and a flow of inspiration and ideas will follow. Your creative mind will come alive with possibilities and potential sources of help. The best way to discover what you want is to ask yourself the question, “what is missing”. When I have a new client in front of me I always start by asking, “What are three things you want more of in your life?” and “What are three things you want less of in your life?” From this conversation, more often than not, pretty clear dreams, goals, and desires appear that may have been hiding behind fear or previous failure or simply that never make it to the front burner. (Of course, to me, failure is just proof that you have been moving forward!)

What are you going to do about it? Make up a plan to achieve your goal so that it can show up. It’s not what you plan but that you plan. You’ll have to guess at your plan, making sure to add in those tasks that you feel should be done as they occur to you. No one has ever been able to figure out what to do to produce exact results. It is good to allow for flexibility in your plan as new results provide information. The power here really is that you engage in the process of making a plan. The tasks you choose in your plan are to empower an experience of productivity, not to give you a sense of having figured it all out. Many clients that come through my door haven’t achieved what they say they want simply because they are attached to having to know exactly how their results are going to show up. I find that allowing results to show up is much more powerful than forcing results to show up. In reality, it is you who must keep showing up!

Keeping your agreements. Now that you know what you want and have made up a plan of action, making and keeping clear agreements about your plan becomes the power behind manifesting the results you want. Having results without struggle or effort requires that you keep your agreements around your plan.
Occasionally we break agreements. Tell the truth about the broken agreement and forgive yourself quickly and with acceptance that you are doing it! You are on your path, not waiting anymore. Occasionally we need to change an agreement. It’s OK to do that but take note if you change it more than twice. Keeping your agreements impeccably will create an experience of momentum where “everything is just working”.

There is a common pitfall that befalls many of us regarding agreements. We find that we can keep agreements with everyone else but ourselves. We may ask ourselves “why?” and spend many vexing hours in contemplation. I am here to tell you it is that it is. The way around the self-agreement failure pitfall is to enroll others in your plans, tell them your agreements, and share your successes, too! My “Momentum Masters” business coaching groups are designed to maximize self-accountability and, thereby, increase your power to manifest fabulous results with your business and life. I want you to feel great about taking those goals, dreams, and intentions off the back burner and turn up the heat! What do *you* want more of in your life?

I am happy to announce that this February 16th I will be starting an evening Procrastinator’s Power-UP! Group. This group is in person in Port Townsend, WA.

Procrastinator’s Power-UP!

• Feel energized and supported
• Learn the 5 secrets to freedom
• Turn breakdowns into momentum

Experience the value of Professional Group Coaching!
Tuesdays 5:30-6:30 • Ongoing group, limit 8
$59.00 per month • Contact Heather for more details and to register

heather(at)heatherflanagan.com

360-379-0322

Also, see this posting at PTguide – City Guide to Port Townsend, Washington

I could devote a whole lifetime to effectively putting this into practice. It is very simple, just 3 words: —– Be Your Word! That’s it! It sounds so easy, but I see so many people who have a real challenge with it.

What does Being your Word mean? It means doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. Does it mean doing what you say you will do with your co-workers or employees. And then breaking promises left and right with your family? NO! Does it mean keeping your agreements with your family and colleagues and then failing to do those things you secretly tell yourself you ought to do? NO! It means [Read more →]

Here is your procrastinators success tool of the day: If you are having trouble getting yourself to do a specific task, such as writing or exercising, tell a friend that you *will* be doing it. Better yet, invite them to join you! While you may be tempted to break an agreement with yourself, you are much less likely to “bogue” if you have made the agreement in the presence of another.

Just yesterday at my Chamber of Commerce meeting, I wanted to make a quirky but bold announcement about a discount promotion for Chamber members. While I feel comfortable about telling them about my 3rd Thursday Free Seminars, I felt very uncomfortable speaking up about my special offer. I could tell that I might decide not to say anything about it ”on the fly” as it where.

So you know what I did? I told a woman about my announcement while in the lunch line. Now I was truly committed. And, yes. My palms got sweaty as my blood ran cold. I was fully terrified! I have learned to love that feeling. I have learned that it means I am really moving forward.

And this is how you thumb screw yourself. (Well that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.)

All you have is your word. It is important that it mean what it says.

When we are our word, we build trust. This doesn’t mean that we make more agreements. More likely, to be our word, we will make fewer agreements and clearer ones. In fact, when we say “yes” to everything, the chances that we later betray our word are great. This leads others to conclude that we are not trustworthy. Worse, we stop trusting ourselves.

In my life, I have learned to stop myself for a second any time I make an agreement. I think for a second and ask myself, “Do I really *want* to do this?” If not, I am unlikely to follow through. If so, there is a greater likelihood. Then I check myself, “How likely am I to do this with no further reminders?” I have learned that the excitement of [Read more →]