An agreement is a structure for fulfillment. It is not unlike a blueprint for a house. An agreement defines what we want to create in the world. According to the German poet, Goethe: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”  When one definitely commits we can read as “when one defines the commitment”. The clearer the agreement (the less vague), the more power it has to show up. But you have to show up first! Avoid these common agreement pitfalls:

• Clumsy or vague commitments, e.g. “I should exercise more.” With such a vague agreement as this I can feel discouraged that I am not keeping it literally every minute of the day not spent exercising. But, I have not made a clear agreement! A clearly made agreement has a time, a date, and an observable, specific action (or removal of action as in not eating the cake!). In my vague agreement there is no time or date and I don’t even know what exercise looks like. Now if I say I am going to ride my bike at least five miles starting at 9 AM tomorrow, I have made a clear agreement and it has a better chance of happening. Also, I am not going to spend the rest of today beating myself up for not exercising because I have a clear plan of when it is going to happen next.

• Saying “yes” to everything. When we over commit, we can end up feeling like a big procrastinator as we do everything frantically at the last minute in crisis mode. Also, sometimes by saying “yes” to everything, we can have two agreements push against each other and have to break or change agreements a lot. Life feels saner if we make agreements based on realistic expectations of what we can do. Making clear agreements is not about setting up unreasonable expectations for yourself. It is more about being in integrity with your reality and building/maintaining self trust and inspiring trust in others. When we feel we’ve broken an agreement, we break self trust. We can carry this bag of “failed agreements” around with us and feel like we just add to it every day. Forgive yourself! Probably most of these agreements haven’t even counted as real agreements!

 There are three things you can do with an agreement, keep it, change it (where the other person really has the option to say, “No, I want to keep with our original plan.”, or break it. If you break an agreement there is no need for upset or shame for there is a way to clean it up and call it good.

Cleaning up broken agreements. This is how you can get to a clean slate and keep it clean instead of digging an ever deeper pit of broken self-trust.

   1. Acknowledge the facts. e.g. “I said I was going to meet you for lunch and I flaked.”

   2. Sincerely apologize, e.g. “I am really sorry I spaced it.”

   3. Make amends, e.g. “Let’s reschedule and let me buy to make it up.”

   4. Recommit to the relationship, e.g. “Your friendship is important and I really do intend on respecting your time. I am committed to doing better in the future.”

Please follow the same protocol for agreements you break with your self! Including making amends. A broken agreement does not have to be an occasion for self-abuse. It can be treated as information. Why did the agreement fail? Perhaps it was too vague? Perhaps it was too much? Or perhaps we simply had a bad day? Use the information to craft better and better agreements.

 My “Momentum Masters” business coaching groups are designed to maximize self-accountability and, thereby, increase your power to manifest fabulous results with your business and life.

I am happy to announce that this February 16th I will be starting an evening Procrastinator’s Power-UP! Group. This group is in person in Port Townsend, WA.

Procrastinator’s Power-UP!

• Feel energized and supported
• Learn the 5 secrets to freedom
• Turn breakdowns into momentum

Experience the value of Professional Group Coaching!
Tuesdays 5:30-6:30 • Ongoing group, limit 8
$59.00 per month • Contact Heather for more details and to register

heather(at)heatherflanagan.com

360-379-0322

Also, see this posting at PTguide – City Guide to Port Townsend, Washington

I could devote a whole lifetime to effectively putting this into practice. It is very simple, just 3 words: —– Be Your Word! That’s it! It sounds so easy, but I see so many people who have a real challenge with it.

What does Being your Word mean? It means doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. Does it mean doing what you say you will do with your co-workers or employees. And then breaking promises left and right with your family? NO! Does it mean keeping your agreements with your family and colleagues and then failing to do those things you secretly tell yourself you ought to do? NO! It means [Read more →]

So what is a life coach? Now, I would like to tell you what a life coach is, but it is a difficult thing to describe. It is less of a job description and more of an experience you go through. Coaching is a process by which you get to have a new, hopefully improved, experience of yourself and what you are capable of. Coaching provides accountability to yourself; it’s like outsourcing someone to hold your best interests as sacred and reflect your importance as a human being back to you. In our culture, many of us have learned to behave as though everyone else matters more than ourselves. But I would argue that this doesn’t balance out well as no one knows your needs, visions, and callings as well as you do. And a life coach can reflect you back to yourself, minus any emotional reactivity or expectations from loved ones, employees, or bosses. This detached but alert presence can really help you get more clarity on your challenges.

Unlike therapy, life coaching is not focused on reprocessing past experiences or discovering why you have the challenges you do. Life coaching looks at the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle would say, “The Now”. And where you want to go. Coaching is about achieving tangible/measurable results. We’re less likely to focus on the why but more on the what, when, and how?

Life coaching is about helping *you* to take greater responsibility for the results you get in your life. One of my mentors was fond of pointing out, “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” It’s not so much about figuring out the right thing to do, it’s about changing habits, experimenting with your choices, and seeing what gets the best results. It is a powerful thing recognizing that you have an expanded amount of choices in your life. We do and say so many things on autopilot. But by getting a little more conscious and embracing your free will, you can make amazing positive changes.

It all starts by being open to possibilities. By being open to the possibility that  how things have been can be otherwise. Being open to the possibility that you have what it takes to change your world.

I am a procrastinator. I appear to have been born this way as, not only did I come out 3 weeks late, but I came out kicking and screaming, feet first, evidently wanting to save the hardest part, birthing of the head, for last. On grade school report cards I always got 3’s for effort on a scale of 1 to 3. In high school, the teachers would always select “Fails to work up to potential” and/or “Failed to complete some assignments”.

I have spent much time and energy trying to figure out how to work with myself instead of against myself to achieve my goals and intentions. Getting stuff done is not just about completing projects and paying your bills and making sure to take a shower before [Read more →]

As you go into this Thanksgiving holiday, be warned! That turkey you are about to eat is *full* of L-tryptophan. Sure, it makes you mellow and is an essential amino acid. But I have done extensive research in my own life and have discovered a little-known malevolent effect of this naturally occurring menace.

L-tryptophan erases your memory!

Yes, it’s true! I have anecdotal evidence in the form of my own personal experience. No, [Read more →]

You’ll never catch a procrastinator saying, “I really need to get around to feeling anxious.” No! Why? Because we are almost always there. Either that or we are trying to avoid being there which is putting us there anyway.

One of the greatest sources of anxiety for us procrastinators comes from beating ourselves up about all the stuff we feel we are procrastinating on. The problem is that we can only do one thing at a time. Consequently, when we are paying the bills, for instance, we are *not* [Read more →]

Here is your procrastinators success tool of the day: If you are having trouble getting yourself to do a specific task, such as writing or exercising, tell a friend that you *will* be doing it. Better yet, invite them to join you! While you may be tempted to break an agreement with yourself, you are much less likely to “bogue” if you have made the agreement in the presence of another.

Just yesterday at my Chamber of Commerce meeting, I wanted to make a quirky but bold announcement about a discount promotion for Chamber members. While I feel comfortable about telling them about my 3rd Thursday Free Seminars, I felt very uncomfortable speaking up about my special offer. I could tell that I might decide not to say anything about it ”on the fly” as it where.

So you know what I did? I told a woman about my announcement while in the lunch line. Now I was truly committed. And, yes. My palms got sweaty as my blood ran cold. I was fully terrified! I have learned to love that feeling. I have learned that it means I am really moving forward.

And this is how you thumb screw yourself. (Well that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.)

LPD=Low Productivity Days

You know the day. You are sitting on the couch wondering what you should do with yourself. You can’t think of any one thing that holds enough sparkle to get you off the couch. So you sit and beat yourself up.

Procrastinators are masterful self-flagellators.

Here is a tip to save the LPD: When you are not feeling sloggy, come up with a default activity that feels like forward movement for those days when you can’t figure out what to do with yourself. This has two results. One, you will unstick yourself. The other, is that you won’t have the opportunity to go more deeply into depression from all that self-defacement.

My default activity is to read a book about how to promote my coaching business. I get to make an espresso, sit in my chair (my secret fortress of sanity), and do important research about my goal. I have worked with myself and not against myself. Call it ADHD. Call it depression. Some days I just can’t make myself stand up and deliver. But those days don’t have to be wasted anymore. I feel good about bettering myself with information.

What will your default activity be?

We who procrastinate *love* a good excuse. Consequently, when disappointments happen, as they are want to do, we secretly say, “Goody! I can feel bad about this instead of having to do what needs to be done.”

My procrastinators tips for you today, then, is to *know* that you will be disappointed frequently and that there may be incredible delays in achieving your goals. Many of them will be through no “fault” of your own.

It’s all part of having goals. It is natural and normal to come to obstacles. Do you know what it means when you hit and obstacle?

No. It doesn’t mean it’s time to stop “going for it”.

It means, and listen carefully here, that you hit an obstacle on the way to your goal. That’s all! Take a closer look. <Extreme zoom to microscopic scale.> You are on the way to your goal! You must have been moving to hit that obstacle, yes? Good!

So when you find obstacles in your way take comfort in knowing, A. they are normal, B. they don’t necessarily mean to stop (you do want to find the information in them), and C. they mean you were moving toward your goals! You just caught yourself *not* procrastinating! Congratulations!

What next? Sulk for a reasonable amount of time. Perhaps set a timer for 20 minutes (the average amount of time it takes for an upset to leave the system). Or better yet, feel bad and *still* do what needs to be done. Then you get the gold star!

Today, I get a gold star!