The little-known effects of L-tryptophan

As you go into this Thanksgiving holiday, be warned! That turkey you are about to eat is *full* of L-tryptophan. Sure, it makes you mellow and is an essential amino acid. But I have done extensive research in my own life and have discovered a little-known malevolent effect of this naturally occurring menace.

L-tryptophan erases your memory!

Yes, it’s true! I have anecdotal evidence in the form of my own personal experience. No, I haven’t conducted any carefully thought out research where all the extraneous and unrelated variables are controlled, counterbalanced, or eliminated. But who cares?! By today’s journalistic standards my rigor is adequate.

You may be asking yourself, “Who cares?” Let me tell you, a procrastinator does! Why? If you thought you procrastinated before Thanksgiving, just wait until your memory has been erased. You’ll be really happy for a couple of days because you’ll have forgotten everything that had been on your to-do list. But slowly, the realization will creep in that you have, say,  forgotten who you were to call and why. Following this realization will be the terror that lurking out there, somewhere, is a person expecting a call from you. <Cue the scary pulsing violin music.>

But you can relax now. Having been warned of this horrible chemical effect of L-tryptophan, you can be prepared by writing everything down as though some complete stranger were going to take over the job of being you after Thanksgiving. You know what? This new employee (me with my mind erased) is going to need some encouragement. I think I’ll put some kind words on that post-holiday to-do list.  After all, she is going to have a really tough job… being me.

Post this blog to your Facebook