My Word, Your Word

All you have is your word. It is important that it mean what it says.

When we are our word, we build trust. This doesn’t mean that we make more agreements. More likely, to be our word, we will make fewer agreements and clearer ones. In fact, when we say “yes” to everything, the chances that we later betray our word are great. This leads others to conclude that we are not trustworthy. Worse, we stop trusting ourselves.

In my life, I have learned to stop myself for a second any time I make an agreement. I think for a second and ask myself, “Do I really *want* to do this?” If not, I am unlikely to follow through. If so, there is a greater likelihood. Then I check myself, “How likely am I to do this with no further reminders?” I have learned that the excitement of the moment often wears off by the time I get around to doing something. Doing other things first can be much more appealing and that thing I agreed to with great enthusiasm can be put on the back burner indefinitely. Then there are consequences, such as my feeling sheepish when I run into the person with whom I made the agreement. I may even treat them as though they are incredibly disappointed in my lack of follow through. Breaking agreements can be subtly damaging to friendships.

Finally, when agreeing to do something, I plan in that moment how I will ensure I follow through. That usually means writing it down so I don’t forget. It may also mean asking for help. This help can be asking the person with whom I made the agreement to email me if they haven’t heard back within a certain time window. If I don’t have paper, I may leave myself a voice mail. I like to say some encouraging things to myself when I leave a voice mail, too, “Hey, you hot thing! Way to keep your agreements. You are really being your word!”